Long Distance Relationships, Making Your Online Relationship Real

There is a lot of negativity out there directed towards long distance relationships, that they are doomed to failure, that you can’t trust anyone to stay faithful if they are far away, etc.  These are just opinions.  Long distance relationships can work, if you and your partner are willing to work at it.  Statistics show that 2.9 percent of marriages in the United States were considered long distance while in the courtship phase.  One in ten of those marriages included a long distance period within the first three years.  Those in long distance relationships believe they are limited to phone calls, texting, and emails.  In order to make your long distance relationships last consider the following.

  1. Setting parameters.  Put a name and define your relationship (dating, engaged, etc.).  Talking with your partner about these important aspects will help in stating your relationship goal and allow each person to get and give from the relationship what they are expecting.
  2. Defy the distance.  Do things together even though you are apart.  Try watching a TV program or movie at the same time while on the phone.
  3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship can offer.  Being apart gives each person the opportunity to maintain individuality.  You can have more time with family and friends, establishing your career, and even getting a new hobby or interest.
  4. Avoid jealousy and trust.  Trust each other completely, whether a long distance relationship or not, this is the only way any relationship can last.  If both are interested in being in the relationship the distance can be overcome.
  5. Discuss your future together.   Discussing the end goal of your relationship will help to establish to each other that the relationship does have a future and the current efforts and frustrations are worth waiting for.
  6. Stay positive.  Staying positive and not dwelling on the negative aspects of a long distance relationship is important to keeping the relationship alive.  Long distance dating encourages each person to be more creative, communicate more effectively.  Staying positive will also harbor a feeling of security and happiness in both people.
  7. Balancing your relationship.     Any relationship is built on trust, understanding, and honesty.  However, each person must be committed to the relationship in the same ways.  Each person should be up front about their expectations and willing to cooperate and compromise for the relationship to survive.

No matter what type of relationship you are in, they all take work and commitment to each other.  Long distance relationships can be very trying and require complete honesty and trust.  In the beginning love and passion will drive the relationship; commitment will eventually lead the relationship.  Commitment is more than a partner’s sexual fidelity; it is a marriage of minds, as the Bard would say.  It is an understanding that you owe the other person respect, timeliness, empathy, and stability.  It is saying to him or her: I’m here for you whatever storms may come.