Dating Profile Headlines Examples: The Best and Worst Profile Headlines

Your online dating profile is the first thing seen by your potential partner and therefore must be engaging enough to make him or her want to give you his or her full attention—or, give you something ‘at attention’, at least.   The type of profile headline you put out will also say something about ‘who’ you want to attract—not to mention a lot about you, so be cautious when trying to be catchy.  The best profile headings are those that can grab someone’s attention and real them in.


If you know who Kathy Griffin is, but think that Christiane Amanpour sounds like the name of a West Hollywood drag queen then you might want to project a more comic demeanor to your profile with lines like this:

  • I’ll admit it.  I suck.
  • Master baker with carpal tunnel syndrome seeks apprentice to assist with kneading.
  • Looking for a man with a large bulge—in his back pocket.
  • Talk nerdy to me.
  • Total shrew seeks hatchet-faced witch for meaningless sex.
  • Seeking someone who will see past my outward beauty to my Mensa-level intelligence and Gandhi-like heart.

Humorous profiles will definitely weed out those too shy to read or throw shade and bring you someone with a sense of humor about them.  These sorts of profiles can, however, backfire if you actually succeed at finding a hatchet-faced witch who’s looking for meaningless sex.


If you are one of those people who believe that honesty is the best policy…then stay off the Internet!  We kid, we kid.  Many people looking for truth, justice, and the GLBT way will post absolutely honest profiles and hope for the best.  Some will argue that this is the best approach as it weeds out people who can’t deal with the fact that your ears remind people of Dumbo.  If you are going the honesty route, try to throw in a measure of cute.

  • Cat lover seeks lap to cuddle up on.
  • I like to exercise…occasionally
  • I’m big boned.  Take that however you like.
  • I consider cupcakes a food group.
  • No one has ever mistaken me for ____________ (Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie)
  • My mother thinks I’m the best, but everyone else thinks that I’m spoiled and arrogant.

It is always best to let people know from the break that you shop at Big and Tall or that your house reeks of cat prior to any actual meetup.  They will thank you for that later.

The Worst Profiles

The worst dating profiles are those that are too sweet.  Trust.  No one wants to read about kissing frogs and hoping for princes anymore.  We’ve all been there, seen that, and then gave away our copy of Twilight.  Do not put up a heading that reads:

  • A perfect day is sharing it with the one you love
  • Sensitive artist looking for my muse

Honestly, people want either to know something unique about you or they want to be entertained—and don’t whine when creating your ‘ad’.  No one wants to read: Where are all the nice guys? Or,  Is there anyone out there that doesn’t own stock in U-Haul? No one likes a whiner.  Even if your complaint is dead on, accurate…people don’t want to read about that first thing.

To Picture or Not to Picture

This topic can be associated with the ‘Honesty’ subsection.  Putting out at least a headshot (not a mug-shot) that has been taken in the last year will help weed out people who may be looking for a different type.  Don’t use old pictures in your profile unless you’ve miraculously stayed the exact same in appearance over the years—just be sure that you keep the portrait in your attic well-hidden when they arrive at your pad.  Pictures are the best way to lower, appropriate, or raise expectations in your potentials.  If you look like Justin Bieber…then, Baby, baby, baby, Bieber it up and ride that Bieber fever right into her heart.  If you’ve been mistaken for any of the following: Jake Gyllenhal, Chris Evans, Hugh Jackman, or George Clooney post that photo and then buy the Platinum plan at the dating site because you’re gonna need that extra private messaging space!

The best and worst of gay dating profiles is actually more subjective (or is that objective) than perhaps this article has heretofore let on.  While we’ve rejected many a cliché, truly…beauty is in the eye of the beholder and dating profiles are good if someone else reads them and thinks they are.  Try out several profiles and see which ones produce the type of results you are looking for.  Best of luck!