How To Date a Co-worker

Forty percent of workers surveyed said at some time they did date a coworker.  That’s quite a bit, especially with the possible pitfalls of dating in the office.When dating someone from your workplace, it comes with advantages and disadvantages. Although it may sound really amazing to have someone you are interested in within your reach, this kind of relationship can also lead to complications that may affect not just your personal life but your career as well. Dating your boss or your co-worker could lead your job at risk once you do the wrong move.

Be Sure

Of all things in the work place to be sure of, it is the mutual attraction of your crush.  It might take a little patience and detective work to find out, put is definitely advisable to wait and make sure to keep you from being embarrassed.  If you hardly know them, then get to know them first and make sure you have a balanced life outside of the work place.  If your life is all about the work, there really may be no place for a romance or relationship in your life.  Here is a list of signs that they may be into you:

  • They find a way to hang with you when it isn’t necessary, say at breaks, lunch or simply go out of their way to tell you a joke or chat  with you.
  • They come to talk to you about something that is outside of your work purview.  This could be another sign that they are finding an excuse to talk to you.
  • They compliment you regularly, and on occasion, compliment someone else in your presence to gauge how you react to that.
  • The easiest one to see is just plain flirting, but be careful, some people flirt with everyone as just a way to prevent awkwardness.  So don’t go just off of this one piece of “evidence.”
  • Your coworker laughs or grins at what you know are bad jokes.

Job Consequences

Any office romance can lead to disaster, so it is very important for you to realize the pros and cons of dating a coworker.  Think about how you will be seen at work by others, all the way to the possible break up and how that would play out in the workplace.

  • Dating the boss might be fun, but how will your rep with your coworkers be affected?  Someone is bound to think you are the favored employee now and can foster some bad feelings.
  • A lot of companies do not allow employee fraternization and will transfer, demote or even fire you once they find out. Granted, sometimes that’s part of the thrill.

 

Similarities

Just as dating in the real world, you have to find something outside of work that you both enjoy.  If your relationship stays completely based on your work interests you may end up competing with each other, so spend time getting to know each other and find some common ground to foster a true, possibly, long running relationship.

  • Talk to each other about small things OUTSIDE of work and eventually you will be sharing deep thoughts and beliefs.
  • Be funny.  It can be awkward at first when you finally get your crush outside the workplace.  Humor can be your little icebreaker until you’ve really gotten to know them.
  • Don’t gossip about work.  Not only is it a weak and petty thing to talk about, forming a relationship with someone by snickering behind other people’s back cannot turn out well.

Down Low

You should keep the budding relationship on the “down low” early on.  If, say, after two or three dates you both decide it isn’t going anywhere and decide to part ways, then no one else knows and things go back to the way they were.  It’s a bit arbitrary, but give it a month before you let the new get out.

  • Don’t keep hidden for too long.  People can tell over time and trying to keep something like this hidden can end up being a negative.
  • If your company has rules against it, one of you may eventually have to consider moving departments or companies if this relationship turns out to be serious.

The End

If the relationship does end while you are still both working at the company, you should remain professional and leave the emotional stuff at home.

As you can see there are a number of things to consider if you decide to date that cute coworker.  Don’t let your lust override your intelligence and think it through.  Decide whether it would really be worth the risk (which can be part of the fun) and the possible heartache at the end.