100 Hilarious pickup lines

A fun list of lines to try out on your next unknowing victim. Seriously try them; at the very least you’ll get a laugh.

You’re so pretty…

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

You’d better direct that beauty somewhere else, you’ll set the carpet on fire.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

Short and sweet

Be unique and different, say yes.

You’ll do.

Can I even get a fake number?

This time next year let’s be laughing together.

I’d look good on you.

St. Patty’s Day (all said with a bad Irish brogue)

I ain’t got four leaves, but if you pluck me, I’ll give you luck!

If you don’t sleep with me, the leprechauns have already won!

You look magically delicious, and I just happen to be a cereal lovemaker.

Well, ye caught me, lass! Now I can grant ye one wish, as long as it involves sex.

Why don’t you come catch a leprechaun with me? Maybe together we’ll get Lucky!

Sweetness

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

Clever

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice… Hi, I’m (insert name here).

Hi, my name is Doug. That’s “god” spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it. (Hopefully your name really is Doug)

(Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman/man of my dreams.

Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get “love” and “lust” mixed up.

My buddies over there said that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?

Say “I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.” and kiss him, then tell him you lost the bet.

I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.

Famous

I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but… I’m Batman!

Bond….James Bond

Alcohol

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

This isn’t a beer belly; It’s a fuel tank for a love machine.

I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by you.

Here’s $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

Your Eyes

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I’m lost at sea!

I don’t know which is prettier today, the water, the sky or your eyes.

But your Butt

Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!

[Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d just love to tap that ass!

The Beach

I’ll show you my tan lines if you show me yours. 88

Sex on the mind

The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

I like every bone in your body especially mine.

Baby I’m like milk; I’ll do your body good.

I’ve got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.

Was your Father…?

a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.

a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth

a thief? ‘Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Crude and a little rude

Wow! Are those real?

Are your parents retarded, ’cause you sure are special.

I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

[you] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [them] NO! [you] Maybe u didn’t hear me…. I said u look really fat in those pants!

Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

You don’t sweat much for a fat chick.

Hot/Heat

Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.

Are you a tamale? ‘Cause you’re hot.

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh… you just look hot to me.

You’re so hot; I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.

You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

Is your name Summer? ‘Cause you are as hot as hell.

You’re hotter than donut grease.

Cheesy

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.

Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?

Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!

All those curves! And me with no brakes!

I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.

Just plain funny

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

Computer Geek

You can put a Trojan on my hard drive any time.

How about we do a little peer –to-peer saliva swapping?

Nice set of floppies!

Your homepage or mine?

Nope, not an iPod in my pocket, I’m just happy to see you.

Sci-Fi Geek

I may look like an Ewok but I’m all Wookie where it counts baby!

Your mouth says “Shields up!”, but your eyes say, “Hull breach imminent!”

Tell me of this thing you humans call (pause) love.

Once you make love to a man with Vulcan ears on you never go back.

Why don’t we head to my bedroom, peel back my Star Wars sheets, and discover what a true Jedi can do with his light sabre?

Gross

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in!

Creepy