How to Deal with Someone that Doesn’t Respond Online

You hold your breath, hit the send button and then have a small panic attack when you reread what you just sent to the person you may want to spend the rest of your life with. You have already looked over your own profile so many times that it is beginning to look surreal, trying to figure out what this other person will think of you. What kind of impression will you make? Are you coming on too strong? Do you sound nervous? You have just messaged a person you have never met, but whom you would like to take a chance on. It’s a big deal, a huge leap, and it can really put you on edge. But sometimes what you have imagined between you and this person doesn’t even begin. Sometimes this person may not even message you back, and after all the emotional distress you have gone through just to convince your finger to hit the enter on your keyboard, it seems totally outrageous.

It can be very hurtful when someone doesn’t respond to your interest in them. Dating is nerve wracking and extremely emotionally charged. It’s even more so when you aren’t able to take the visual and auditory cues that we use to interact as human beings face to face. It’s important to realize that we can’t control the actions of others, so it’s best to just relax.

 There are a few really great ways to think about this dilemma when it’s getting you down. First of all no matter how cliché it is, the old “more fish in the sea” saying really is true. If the person isn’t responding, there will be someone else who does, just keep at it! Now that’s a typical generalized answer that a bartender drops to an upset patron at his bar. Let’s try another way of looking at it.

Most of us (me included) check our online profiles, email and every other online account we have almost incessantly. But that doesn’t mean that everyone does! First of all, give this person some time to respond. Maybe he or she forgot to check for a while, or is having technological problems, or whatever else. So be a little patient. If you still don’t get a message back, or a wink or anything else, don’t harass the person. Don’t be offended. Every person in the world has lived a completely different life with totally different experiences. This leads to different tastes and interests that are hard to predict. If a person decides you may not be right for them, stay positive! A profile is only a small piece of you, it can be misinterpreted. So remember: take a breath, keep trying, be patient, don’t blame yourself, and don’t spend too much time trying where your trying is not appreciated!