Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

 

Create a Better Dating Experience in Just Minutes: Nine Dating Tips

Tuesday, August 16th, 2011

It’s usually the first 10 minutes into a date that one or both parties will make a determination as to whether a second date will eventuate, hence setting up the tone for the remainder of the date. But is this a wise frame of mind to in?

An Australian women’s magazine polled their readers which consisted of 2200 respondents, the published results indicated that 83% of first dates never make it past this initial stage. Relationships expert, Diane Bishop said, “Most people make the mistake of overlooking a potential love interest if there are no sparks or romantic signals within the very early stages of the date, even if your date is a nice person but offered no initial romantic attraction, sometimes it’s worth pursuing a second date to determine if a person could potentially develop into something more.”

With my job as a matchmaking advisor, people usually tend to waste golden opportunities rather than use these interactions as a learning curb, to find out more about other people and themselves. Any date or interaction you experience, on any level, should be considered part of your journey, not a waste of time.

1. Don’t be negative because of past experiences. Even though your last few dates might be described as non-eventful does not mean you should take this attitude into the next time you’re dating somebody new. “I really hope this guy likes me” instead of “here we go again, another bad date”, always keep an open mind, you’ll be in a far better head space to determine how you might feel about him. Give it your best chance to succeed, not your worst.

2. Try and come up with 3 simple things you like or admire about him rather than nit picking from the outset as most people tend to do. Even something simple like the way he dresses, the restaurant venue he chose or his level of eye contact: What do you like about him? 

3. Offer a compliment. You can play your part in settling the nerves of your date thus setting up a far more enjoyable evening. Watch and see how quickly he loosens up when you pay him a simple compliment, you’ll get to see what he’s really like much sooner, and besides, a compliment is a nice gesture.

4. Think of it as practice. Use the experiences as a way to improve your people person skills until Mr. I love you finally makes his appearance. Dating a wide variety of people only makes you a sounder judge of character.

5. Leave your agenda behind. If the guy your dating does not do it for you within the first 10 – 15 minutes of meeting, it’s time to go into second phase mode. There’s a wealth of possibilities that can crop up. By limiting your outlook, you could very well miss opportunities such as meeting a new network of friends, or even a business opportunity. Either way, there could be some other significant message you can take away from the experience. What have you got to lose, you’re already there so make the most of it.

6. Ask him questions: But be selective with the topics you discuss. Don’t start complaining about all the bad dates you’ve gone on, or how your ex won’t stop stalking you – nobody likes a drama queen. Pick up the phone conversation where you left off, “Tell me a bit more about the places you visited on your trip to Australia.”

7. Ignore the little voices in your head. The one’s that try to tell you that you’re not good enough for this guy, or this date is a total waste of time and energy. Please, keep reminding yourself that it’s an opportunity you don’t want to miss, so hang in there and see what you can get out of the date.

8. It’s not about control. You’re there to find out about the person you’re dating, not yourself. Refrain from trying to read his mind or analyze his thoughts – just relax and go with the flow.

9. Be empathetic and kind. There’s every chance the person your with has the same levels of insecurities as yourself. Try and not get caught up with some assumption that you think you wouldn’t be able to live with, don’t pre-empt something too soon, give him a fighting chance to grow on you. And no matter how the date ends, make sure he feels good about himself, and not a total reject if sparks don’t fly, and in doing so, you’ll spread good karma too.

It’s part of human nature to long for a life time partner, someone you can share a deeper sense of understanding with, a sense of trust and love. So until this person comes into your life, offer the other people who come in and out of your life the utmost respect, this is the kind of attitude that pays off in the long run.

About the author: Matt Fuller is a matchmaking consultant and relationships author. Matt writes about topics relating to free online dating sites for single people as well as singles dating sites reviews.

8 Signs Your Relationship May be Over

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

Finding the right partner in life is hard in just the finding.  But once you become a couple sometimes the fire sputters or goes completely cold.   Here’s a few big clues to the end of your latest era.

1.    Cheat
Either you or your other is cheating and/or caught cheating.  If you both cared for each other cheating would never come into the equation.  True, some relationships can survive a cheat, but few do.

2.    Jealousy
Not exactly jealous of each other, but jealous of other couples’ relationships.  If you or your partner feels everyone else’s relationship is better than yours, it’s a sign that moving on is something you need to consider.  Why stick in a relationship where you feel less than special and loved?

3.    It’s Tiring
You used to love to spend time together, but now it’s just a burden to find time to do so.  If you don’t want to spend time with your “better half” there really is no reason to be in the relationship.

4.    The Future
Any sort of future planning that requires a serious commitment is too difficult to agree upon.  If this is the case there probably is no real long term future.  I’m not talking marriage either, it could just be planning a vacation together, or getting tickets to a how six months from now.  This could also mean you or your partner takes their stuff back to their place.

5.    The Fuzzies
Those warm fuzzy feelings are few and far between.  You used to get those goosebumps every time you saw, or even thought of your partner, now it’s just flat and maybe there’s a small overtone of resentment.  This is a a precursor to the detachment that many of us require when we are ready to cut the chord.

6.    The Friends
Relationships are works in progress, and often your partner’s friends are a big part of figuring out how things will progress. If you can’t stand their friends and make not true effort to work on that, then there isn’t really much of a chance of things lasting.

7.    The Sex
There was a time when it was exciting and fun, but now it’s nonexistent or just no fun.  If you can’t remember the last time you had sex, there’s a good chance your dry spell is about to get even longer.

8.    The Nag
Nothing you ever do is right.  Your partner finds fault in just about everything you do and never finds the time to acknowledge when you do right.  You nag too much, you don’t clean well enough, you’re in their business too much, you don’t text enough and so on.  While you continue to try to make it right it’s already over in your soon to be former partner’s mind.

How to respond to: “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Monday, July 11th, 2011

You know you’ve either said it before, or you have it said to you.  It’s one of the biggest cop-out things anyone could ever hear when a breakup is happening: “It’s Not You, It’s me”.  This has motivated me to come up with a top ten list of things to SAY BACK when someone says it to you.

Are you ready?  Here are the Top Ten things to respond back with when someone tells you “It’s Not You, It’s Me”:

 

  1. “You’re right, It IS you, NOT me”

 

  1. “Finally you figured it out was you. I was beginning to think you were stupid!”

 

  1. “No need to be hard on yourself.  Not everyone is as overweight and ugly as you are.  It takes time. I’m glad you finally figured it out you had an issue”

 

  1. “I spoke to your mom last night. She said the same thing.”

 

  1. “Wow, I think we finally agree on something”

 

  1. “I invented that line. You are not allowed to say it! I’ll give you one more chance to come up with a better reason or I’m just going to dump you”

 

  1. “The only thing that is YOU is the big pimple on your forehead.  Now that’s YOU”

 

  1. “Thank You very much for telling me something I didn’t know. Can you pay for our dinner now since that’s the only thing you’re good for”

 

  1. “I’m sorry. What did you say?  I thought I heard you say you finally recognize how big of an idiot you are.  But that’s probably impossible, so can you repeat what you said please??”

 

  1. “You didn’t have to tell me that out loud. I knew you are having some major problems getting it up, and that’s all I needed to see.  Do you want me to get you some help?”

 This is a guest post by the author at http://blog.postamigos.com/